Surely just once would be ok?
Posted: Sat Oct 05, 2024 8:10 am
Young Torben Dungshuvler grinned to himself as he stood outside of 'Bruguzh's Bargain Boutique' and surveyed the horde of goods that he'd bought in readiness for the upcoming Hero Quest. Sure the wily old Argan Argar Uz storekeeper had gotten a good few lunars from him in return but Torben felt satisfied that he now had everything required for the journey, especially those 2 polished bronze shovels and the large sack of sweet smelling lavender flowers.......it wouldn't be the done thing to attend to the ablutions of such greats as Lord Quatlu and Lord Erik with anything but the best!
Picking up his goods and bundling them onto his small handcart the intrepid young groom, Orlanth Initiate and soon to be renowned Hero Quester headed off through the market streets of Boldhome, back to his lodgings at Queensgift, the home of Lord Erik. As he whistled merrily, taking care to let nothing fall from the cart, he was suddenly interrupted by a gruff voice, hailing from one of the numerous shady alleyways...
"Pssst, oiy, you, lad I've got something here you might like".
Torben stopped, peering into the shadows he replied, "No thank you, whoever you are, I'm not interested in such nonsense! I've a sweetheart back in Balmyr, if you please, and I shan't be cheating on her, besides I only care for the ladies, so to speak and no offence intended".
"No, you daft fool", replied the voice, "Not that kind of something! I meant this.....", with that the figure of a burly male, dressed in the somewhat shabby and grubby white robes of a Chalana Arroy worshipper emerged from the gloom. In his hands he had a small leather bag, beckoning towards Torben he continued,
"Come here boy, take a look, you won't find any finer than this here! Word gets around the City that you're soon to be off with that Quatlu fellow on some fancy Hero Quest, well you won't want to be going without taking some of this with you and I can let you have it at a most reasonable price....Groomsman Torben Dungshuvler".
"Just who are you exactly, if you don't mind me asking? I mean, you appear to be wearing the robes of a worshipper of the Blessed Mother, albeit ones that could do with a good wash, and that armband thing you've got on there, the one with the letters 'KBTB'.....what do they stand for? Do you have a name, since you clearly know mine"?
"Names can be such a hindrance upon occasions, particularly in my line of 'business', so I prefer to leave them aside, if you wish to refer to me by anything then I suggest 'Dirk, the Dealer' will suffice, it's as good a title as any. As to my robes, yes indeed they are those of a Chalana Arroy follower but don't let such apparel deceive you into believing I dedicate my life to the Blessed Mother, let us say I find it useful to wear them from time to time, especially when I need to visit her Temple to pick up some more of this marvellous stuff here", with that, he shook the bag in his hand and opened the neck of it, releasing an immediate heady smell, the likes of which young Torben had never experienced before.
"Gosh, that pongs", uttered Torben, "What in Orlanth's great name is that"?
"Ah, this my boy is your ticket to a successful Hero Quest, the path to an undertaking where in any fear shall vanish, confidence override all and you'll get to realise the wonder that is......the splendid herb known as .....Hazia! Talk about flexible, you can pop it into some dough and bake it into a cake, roll the stuff up and cram it into a pipe for a most mellow smoke or simply chew it up and swallow, couldn't be easier"!
"Hazia...hazia....I'm sure I've heard of it somewhere but I just can't quite recall? You see we were simple folk back in Balmyr and never knew much about what goes on in the City and I never knew that you could get something that helps out specifically on Hero Quests? Are you sure it works"?
"100% guaranteed boy, or you'll get your money back".
"Money, what money....you never said anything about money! I'm only a poor Groomsman and I've already paid out a heap of lunars to buy all this lot", Torben pointed towards the array of goods in the handcart in front of him.
"Look, lad, stuff like this is bound to come at a cost, but just think of the rewards that you'll make from a successful Hero Quest! You'll be swimming in lunars soon and then you'll be only to glad to have met old 'Dirk' here and realise what a great deal you had off of me. This whole bag here can be yours for just 100 lunars...100...think boy, what's 100 lunars when you're soon going to be picking up 2000 of 'em! Makes sense see, a total bargain"!
"Well, when you put it like that I suppose it does.....yes....2000...less 100.....that's still a profit of...hang on....", the young Groomsman counted out various totals on his fingers, "Yes, a profit of 1800, no, 1900 lunars...wow! However, wait, I haven't got 100 lunars spare, what with me borrowing off of the moneylenders and using that on upkeep and buying this stuff and the horse....I only make 2 lunars a Season working at Lord Erik's place".
"Lord Erik, you say, yes I know that you're under his employ......just as rumours circulate that he has been most kind to his new employee and made certain 'payments of support' recently....would I be correct"?
"Errrr, well, yes that's true he's a most kind employer as well as great man but...but....he did so in good faith....so I could get myself in order...have some reserves so that I was in a position to repay my debts when due....I shouldn't go spending his money, money that coincidentally just happens to be 100 lunars....on a fat bag of hazia, surely that wouldn't be right"?
"2000 lunars boy....2000 big shiny juicy ones......do you want those or do you want to be kicking yourself in the seasons to come with a paltry little purse of 100 lunars, crying into your ale over what might have been?! Now look, I like you lad, I see in you the youth that I once was, I want to help you, believe me I do, so I'm going to let you have a 'little taster', as we call it", with that he pulled a pipe from a pocket in his robes and a box of Mostali matches, striking up one he took a few puffs from the pipe and passed it to the youth before him.
"Take a few drags, deep ones mind....that's it let it flow".
"Cough...cough...splutter...wheeze...oh god, this...cough...never smoked a pipe before...choke...am I doing it right"?
"Yes, yes, all splendid there, keep going...just relax....."
"Cough..ok....", puff, puff, "Actually, splutter...actually this isn't too bad....hmmmh...yes..small cough...not too bad at all", young Torben concentrated on drawing in deep puffs from the pipe, the smoke rising from it to swirl around his head in wispy strands. "Yeah, hey you're right this is what I feel I need to say is cool, for some reason....oh yeah this is just the business.....incredible look at that dragon flying by overhead, the one with the sunflower for a head....oh wow.."
"Yes, that's it you've got it my boy! See I told you it was good stuff! Now, about the 100 lunars for this bag...if I'm not mistaken there is a purse at your waist there, on your belt, that small one with the writing '100 lunars advanced by Lord Erik'....if you just pass that over to me I can then pass back this here bag of mine.....wonderful, thank you...it's been a pleasure doing business with you, young man...good luck on the old Hero Quest lark and if you ever want anymore of the stuff you know where to find me eh...just come back to the market streets and send out the word you want to see old Doug again and I'll be sure to help out".
"Sure....wow....like, I'll certainly do so man.....like wow again.....cheers Doug...Doug....I thought you said your name was Dick or was it Dirk or something earlier....anyway, whatever....thanks again....oh, there was just one thing you never told me what the letters on your armband meant...the KB...KTB....BKT...or whatever they were...", Torben suddenly realised he was talking to himself, Doug or Dick or Dirk, whoever he was had gone and the youngster was stood alone, his laden handcart to his front and the leather bag of pungent hazia in his right hand.
"By the gods, it's getting late", he mumbled, "Got to get back to Erik's place and unload all this gear....mind you no harm in having another quick puff or two along the way is there, Erik's bound to be out somewhere important and Ondurga asleep or something", with that he grabbed the handles of his cart and set off.
From the depths of the alleyway a voice could be heard quietly chuckling, "That's another poor fool and his money parted company! Best thing I ever did taking advice from ex Assistant Rune Lord Broar before he left, who would have guessed having access to all those herbs and plants at the Chalana Arroy temple could lead to a sideline in syphoning off the hazia stock used for pain relief and going into business. You've got to admit the man was a genius, even if he was a tad on the mad side and if he does come back to Boldhome with that Broo army like he promised then I'm sure to be safe by wearing one of the old 'King Broar the Benevolent' armbands, that's how he said all us true Broarists would be recognised"!
Picking up his goods and bundling them onto his small handcart the intrepid young groom, Orlanth Initiate and soon to be renowned Hero Quester headed off through the market streets of Boldhome, back to his lodgings at Queensgift, the home of Lord Erik. As he whistled merrily, taking care to let nothing fall from the cart, he was suddenly interrupted by a gruff voice, hailing from one of the numerous shady alleyways...
"Pssst, oiy, you, lad I've got something here you might like".
Torben stopped, peering into the shadows he replied, "No thank you, whoever you are, I'm not interested in such nonsense! I've a sweetheart back in Balmyr, if you please, and I shan't be cheating on her, besides I only care for the ladies, so to speak and no offence intended".
"No, you daft fool", replied the voice, "Not that kind of something! I meant this.....", with that the figure of a burly male, dressed in the somewhat shabby and grubby white robes of a Chalana Arroy worshipper emerged from the gloom. In his hands he had a small leather bag, beckoning towards Torben he continued,
"Come here boy, take a look, you won't find any finer than this here! Word gets around the City that you're soon to be off with that Quatlu fellow on some fancy Hero Quest, well you won't want to be going without taking some of this with you and I can let you have it at a most reasonable price....Groomsman Torben Dungshuvler".
"Just who are you exactly, if you don't mind me asking? I mean, you appear to be wearing the robes of a worshipper of the Blessed Mother, albeit ones that could do with a good wash, and that armband thing you've got on there, the one with the letters 'KBTB'.....what do they stand for? Do you have a name, since you clearly know mine"?
"Names can be such a hindrance upon occasions, particularly in my line of 'business', so I prefer to leave them aside, if you wish to refer to me by anything then I suggest 'Dirk, the Dealer' will suffice, it's as good a title as any. As to my robes, yes indeed they are those of a Chalana Arroy follower but don't let such apparel deceive you into believing I dedicate my life to the Blessed Mother, let us say I find it useful to wear them from time to time, especially when I need to visit her Temple to pick up some more of this marvellous stuff here", with that, he shook the bag in his hand and opened the neck of it, releasing an immediate heady smell, the likes of which young Torben had never experienced before.
"Gosh, that pongs", uttered Torben, "What in Orlanth's great name is that"?
"Ah, this my boy is your ticket to a successful Hero Quest, the path to an undertaking where in any fear shall vanish, confidence override all and you'll get to realise the wonder that is......the splendid herb known as .....Hazia! Talk about flexible, you can pop it into some dough and bake it into a cake, roll the stuff up and cram it into a pipe for a most mellow smoke or simply chew it up and swallow, couldn't be easier"!
"Hazia...hazia....I'm sure I've heard of it somewhere but I just can't quite recall? You see we were simple folk back in Balmyr and never knew much about what goes on in the City and I never knew that you could get something that helps out specifically on Hero Quests? Are you sure it works"?
"100% guaranteed boy, or you'll get your money back".
"Money, what money....you never said anything about money! I'm only a poor Groomsman and I've already paid out a heap of lunars to buy all this lot", Torben pointed towards the array of goods in the handcart in front of him.
"Look, lad, stuff like this is bound to come at a cost, but just think of the rewards that you'll make from a successful Hero Quest! You'll be swimming in lunars soon and then you'll be only to glad to have met old 'Dirk' here and realise what a great deal you had off of me. This whole bag here can be yours for just 100 lunars...100...think boy, what's 100 lunars when you're soon going to be picking up 2000 of 'em! Makes sense see, a total bargain"!
"Well, when you put it like that I suppose it does.....yes....2000...less 100.....that's still a profit of...hang on....", the young Groomsman counted out various totals on his fingers, "Yes, a profit of 1800, no, 1900 lunars...wow! However, wait, I haven't got 100 lunars spare, what with me borrowing off of the moneylenders and using that on upkeep and buying this stuff and the horse....I only make 2 lunars a Season working at Lord Erik's place".
"Lord Erik, you say, yes I know that you're under his employ......just as rumours circulate that he has been most kind to his new employee and made certain 'payments of support' recently....would I be correct"?
"Errrr, well, yes that's true he's a most kind employer as well as great man but...but....he did so in good faith....so I could get myself in order...have some reserves so that I was in a position to repay my debts when due....I shouldn't go spending his money, money that coincidentally just happens to be 100 lunars....on a fat bag of hazia, surely that wouldn't be right"?
"2000 lunars boy....2000 big shiny juicy ones......do you want those or do you want to be kicking yourself in the seasons to come with a paltry little purse of 100 lunars, crying into your ale over what might have been?! Now look, I like you lad, I see in you the youth that I once was, I want to help you, believe me I do, so I'm going to let you have a 'little taster', as we call it", with that he pulled a pipe from a pocket in his robes and a box of Mostali matches, striking up one he took a few puffs from the pipe and passed it to the youth before him.
"Take a few drags, deep ones mind....that's it let it flow".
"Cough...cough...splutter...wheeze...oh god, this...cough...never smoked a pipe before...choke...am I doing it right"?
"Yes, yes, all splendid there, keep going...just relax....."
"Cough..ok....", puff, puff, "Actually, splutter...actually this isn't too bad....hmmmh...yes..small cough...not too bad at all", young Torben concentrated on drawing in deep puffs from the pipe, the smoke rising from it to swirl around his head in wispy strands. "Yeah, hey you're right this is what I feel I need to say is cool, for some reason....oh yeah this is just the business.....incredible look at that dragon flying by overhead, the one with the sunflower for a head....oh wow.."
"Yes, that's it you've got it my boy! See I told you it was good stuff! Now, about the 100 lunars for this bag...if I'm not mistaken there is a purse at your waist there, on your belt, that small one with the writing '100 lunars advanced by Lord Erik'....if you just pass that over to me I can then pass back this here bag of mine.....wonderful, thank you...it's been a pleasure doing business with you, young man...good luck on the old Hero Quest lark and if you ever want anymore of the stuff you know where to find me eh...just come back to the market streets and send out the word you want to see old Doug again and I'll be sure to help out".
"Sure....wow....like, I'll certainly do so man.....like wow again.....cheers Doug...Doug....I thought you said your name was Dick or was it Dirk or something earlier....anyway, whatever....thanks again....oh, there was just one thing you never told me what the letters on your armband meant...the KB...KTB....BKT...or whatever they were...", Torben suddenly realised he was talking to himself, Doug or Dick or Dirk, whoever he was had gone and the youngster was stood alone, his laden handcart to his front and the leather bag of pungent hazia in his right hand.
"By the gods, it's getting late", he mumbled, "Got to get back to Erik's place and unload all this gear....mind you no harm in having another quick puff or two along the way is there, Erik's bound to be out somewhere important and Ondurga asleep or something", with that he grabbed the handles of his cart and set off.
From the depths of the alleyway a voice could be heard quietly chuckling, "That's another poor fool and his money parted company! Best thing I ever did taking advice from ex Assistant Rune Lord Broar before he left, who would have guessed having access to all those herbs and plants at the Chalana Arroy temple could lead to a sideline in syphoning off the hazia stock used for pain relief and going into business. You've got to admit the man was a genius, even if he was a tad on the mad side and if he does come back to Boldhome with that Broo army like he promised then I'm sure to be safe by wearing one of the old 'King Broar the Benevolent' armbands, that's how he said all us true Broarists would be recognised"!