Uncle Bruar, are you nearly here yet?
Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2024 7:15 pm
OOC - To begin, chastened by Fionn's comment about Brear posting too much I am limiting myself to just two posts today and then promising to wait a few more days before posting again. In my defence I blame Puckohoe for creating such an entertaining game that it's difficult not to get too involved and carried away with! Anyway....back to the first of the posts!
Dear Uncle Bruar,
It's your nephew Brear here, I was just checking if you're due to arrive here in Boldhome soon?
You see there's been a slight complication since I last wrote to you which necessitates my departure pretty pronto to embark upon a Hero Quest, just like cousin Broar did a few seasons ago when he went off to get the skull of the King of the Broos. My own Hero Quest is to find the Lightbringer God Lhankor Mhy to get a letter off of him, him being the God of Knowledge and everything, that proves I'm totally innocent of a host of trumped up charges that have been levelled against me in this cesspit of a city by persons of dubious and adversary nature. Now you might think how is someone going to get a letter off of Lhankor Mhy? I'd say easy enough and who can contest it, has anyone actually ever seen his handwriting or signature....
...see....and those old duffers who spend their time sat over desks going through dusty old scrolls are hardly going to be in a position to say it's not authentic, where's their proof....where's an original Lhankor Mhy letter anywhere?! Fool proof!
I mean, can you believe it Uncle, the swine are saying I'm a party to consorting with Chaos or something daft like that and all because I said I was High Priest of cousin Broar's Cult. How outrageous is that?! Trying to 'do me' for perceived offences committed by Broar, it's almost like they're saying we're one and the same, almost, which, of course, is utter nonsense as you well know. Behind it all is that dastardly rogue Evil Erik Starkraving and if anyone is an agent of Chaos it has to be him but no-one seems to want to listen when either I or Broar seek to tell them, even the Chalana Arroy lot has sided with him so when you do get here I advise you to steer well clear of them and choose some other Cult to be involved with, avoid Eurmal also as they appear to be a walking disaster with anyone able to have you arrested if you get charged and then you'll be found guilty straight away.....what the hell....who in their right mind would join that lot, I got tricked into joining them but my pleas of innocence fell upon deaf ears. Truly Uncle this is a terrible place....EXCEPT...for one thing.....allow me to tell you....
I've hit the jackpot, an absolute jackpot I kid you not! It's a total no-brainer, a recipe for wealth untold, almost too good to believe BUT it isn't and there's more where that came from.....much more....I'm minted Uncle, rolling in lunars, richer now then I've ever been in my entire life and with this strategy I'll soon be the richest man in the whole of Boldhome within just a few seasons!! Forget all those naff 'magic items' I've been trying to flog, the healing insurances or the arrangement of ransoms etc .....you don't need any of those to get the money rolling in.....I kid you not I could pay the ransom for some idiot called Rufus who just got himself captured, myself, if I wanted to, not that I do (!) and I have had many a chuckle at the host of fools who are trying to cobble the cash together, amongst themselves, because good old Broa....Brear here is swimming in cash....I even melted down 100 lunars just to make a plate so I could eat the finest of foods off of it that I bought at the market!
My advice when you get here is to get yourself straight down to the money lenders and sigh up to the biggest 'loan' the suckers will give you and whip the whole lot straight back home. I had to use a horse to transport mine as it was simply to heavy, all that coin, as I had the numpties for a 1000 lunars....yep....a 1000 lunars and I'll not have to pay a single lunar of it back as I'm off on my Hero Quest so they can poke it up their stupid backsides. Cousin Broar gave me the 'tip off' to this and, bless him, he wasn't wrong. Thank the Gods the Hofarsons are such a large family as Grandfather Briar Hofarson hasn't been here yet, neither has my own father or my twin brother....it's a golden ticket Uncle. They'll not soon forget the Hofarson's here....we came with nothing yet we left with two...no three...four even.....great big saddlebags of money!
Anyway, good luck Uncle sorry I couldn't hang around but I'm sure you'll understand and I've left the door key under the front mat, help yourself to whatever you find and I leave you in complete control of the Hofarson assets within the City.
Brear Hofarson
An absolute Hero who has been totally misunderstood
Saviour of Boldhome
P.S Avoid 'Knuckles Money Market' and 'The Knee-cappers Emporium' as they may become a tad suspicious and start asking awkward questions if you turn up there.....I hear 'Lunar Loans' are a decent bet!
Dear Uncle Bruar,
It's your nephew Brear here, I was just checking if you're due to arrive here in Boldhome soon?
You see there's been a slight complication since I last wrote to you which necessitates my departure pretty pronto to embark upon a Hero Quest, just like cousin Broar did a few seasons ago when he went off to get the skull of the King of the Broos. My own Hero Quest is to find the Lightbringer God Lhankor Mhy to get a letter off of him, him being the God of Knowledge and everything, that proves I'm totally innocent of a host of trumped up charges that have been levelled against me in this cesspit of a city by persons of dubious and adversary nature. Now you might think how is someone going to get a letter off of Lhankor Mhy? I'd say easy enough and who can contest it, has anyone actually ever seen his handwriting or signature....
...see....and those old duffers who spend their time sat over desks going through dusty old scrolls are hardly going to be in a position to say it's not authentic, where's their proof....where's an original Lhankor Mhy letter anywhere?! Fool proof! I mean, can you believe it Uncle, the swine are saying I'm a party to consorting with Chaos or something daft like that and all because I said I was High Priest of cousin Broar's Cult. How outrageous is that?! Trying to 'do me' for perceived offences committed by Broar, it's almost like they're saying we're one and the same, almost, which, of course, is utter nonsense as you well know. Behind it all is that dastardly rogue Evil Erik Starkraving and if anyone is an agent of Chaos it has to be him but no-one seems to want to listen when either I or Broar seek to tell them, even the Chalana Arroy lot has sided with him so when you do get here I advise you to steer well clear of them and choose some other Cult to be involved with, avoid Eurmal also as they appear to be a walking disaster with anyone able to have you arrested if you get charged and then you'll be found guilty straight away.....what the hell....who in their right mind would join that lot, I got tricked into joining them but my pleas of innocence fell upon deaf ears. Truly Uncle this is a terrible place....EXCEPT...for one thing.....allow me to tell you....
I've hit the jackpot, an absolute jackpot I kid you not! It's a total no-brainer, a recipe for wealth untold, almost too good to believe BUT it isn't and there's more where that came from.....much more....I'm minted Uncle, rolling in lunars, richer now then I've ever been in my entire life and with this strategy I'll soon be the richest man in the whole of Boldhome within just a few seasons!! Forget all those naff 'magic items' I've been trying to flog, the healing insurances or the arrangement of ransoms etc .....you don't need any of those to get the money rolling in.....I kid you not I could pay the ransom for some idiot called Rufus who just got himself captured, myself, if I wanted to, not that I do (!) and I have had many a chuckle at the host of fools who are trying to cobble the cash together, amongst themselves, because good old Broa....Brear here is swimming in cash....I even melted down 100 lunars just to make a plate so I could eat the finest of foods off of it that I bought at the market!
My advice when you get here is to get yourself straight down to the money lenders and sigh up to the biggest 'loan' the suckers will give you and whip the whole lot straight back home. I had to use a horse to transport mine as it was simply to heavy, all that coin, as I had the numpties for a 1000 lunars....yep....a 1000 lunars and I'll not have to pay a single lunar of it back as I'm off on my Hero Quest so they can poke it up their stupid backsides. Cousin Broar gave me the 'tip off' to this and, bless him, he wasn't wrong. Thank the Gods the Hofarsons are such a large family as Grandfather Briar Hofarson hasn't been here yet, neither has my own father or my twin brother....it's a golden ticket Uncle. They'll not soon forget the Hofarson's here....we came with nothing yet we left with two...no three...four even.....great big saddlebags of money!
Anyway, good luck Uncle sorry I couldn't hang around but I'm sure you'll understand and I've left the door key under the front mat, help yourself to whatever you find and I leave you in complete control of the Hofarson assets within the City.
Brear Hofarson
An absolute Hero who has been totally misunderstood
Saviour of Boldhome
P.S Avoid 'Knuckles Money Market' and 'The Knee-cappers Emporium' as they may become a tad suspicious and start asking awkward questions if you turn up there.....I hear 'Lunar Loans' are a decent bet!