To the most Reverend Mother Ayrrios Terlaidsdaughter, High Preistess of The Blessed Lady,
My lady,
You must be as tired of the antics of Broaranna Hofarsdaughter as the rest of us. However, let me bring her latest outrage to your ears. She tried to court the lady Oneldna Yankasdaughter of the Issaries and, when that lady had the great good sense to spurn her advances, wrote her a most insulting letter of which I attach a copy herein.
"To: Oneldna Yankasdaughter,
How dare you refuse me woman, I mean fellow woman, sister type person, the same gender as me, what with me being a female lady type. Do you know how many lunars I've wasted in buying gifts to impress you, to make clear how much better off you'd be in being my 'other half', rather than being alone like a miserable wallflower type?! All the expense and yet you decide to refuse me, me Broar...I mean Broaranna.....Broaranna Hofarsdaughter.....right, you'll pay for that woman....I've friends in high places you know, my cousin Broar is a God, don't you know, and King of the Broos and my brother Brear is High Priest of Cult Broar the Benevolent - may I just interject at this point that is their choice etc, nothing to do with my actual choice, they're just relatives etc so I can't / shouldn't be judged via the family link with them both!
Anyway, getting back to you and me.....you'll live to regret this snub you know....well, when I say live that won't be for long because the Deputy of Public Harmony is going to hear about all this you know....how you slammed the door in the face of a respected Chalana Arroy Initiate....a person of decency and social standing.....it's HIM isn't it...he's behind it somehow....that Evil Erik....what's HE done, bunged you a few hundred lunars to turn me down?!
This is your last chance, change your mind and accept my offer of companionship otherwise you're for the chop woman.....it's either me or some deluded loyalty to Pyscho Erik........choose wisely.....
Broaranna
A lovely lady and a damn fine healer"
Now surely this counts as promoting disorder, forbidden by the tenets of the Cult of the Blessed Lady, and to a member of an associated cult at that!
Add to this the fact that Broaranna is actually Brear Hofarson, the fugitive from your justice, in disguise (actually just another alias of the Chaos promoting Broar Hofarson) and I feel you have cause to haul the wretch before a cult tribunal.
Erik Stargazer, Assistant Runelord of Orlanth
(OOC: Erik calls on the Cult of Chalana Arroy to try Broaranna for promoting disorder).
To the High Priestess of Chalana Arroy
Re: To the High Priestess of Chalana Arroy
To: The Reverend Mother Ayrrios Terlaidsdaughter, High Priestess of Chalana Arroy
Greetings to you, my worshipful High Priestess
I sincerely apologise - unlike certain others (actual a certain other) - for intruding upon your most valuable time but I really felt I had no choice since I hear word that Boldhome's resident psychotic lunatic, i.e. the man of a hundred voices in his head, Evil Erik Starkraving (alias Erik Stargazer) has written to you claiming a whole load of utter tosh and suggesting that I be charged with causing disharmony! Me....Broaranna Hofarsdaughter, your most inspiring and promising Initiate.
As I suspect you've already recognised his letter is a woefully transparent attempt to bring discredit to me and, by seeking to do so therefore, a direct slur upon our blessed Goddess herself. This is from someone who purports to be a member of an associated Lightbringer cult and poor old Orlanth must be screaming out for your opposite number in his cult to have the rest of the Orlanthi drive this Chaotic madman from their ranks with all due haste.
The irony here is that this Evil Erik frequently seeks to denounce me, and my family members, as agents of Chaos WHEN it is none of than he, himself, who is the true Chaotic one and I can never understand why he has been allowed to remain at large for as long as he has?? I can only deduce that whatever chaotic deity / demon it is that he serves has granted him one of those chaos features that hides his true allegiance / loyalty.
Did you know, for example, that is was only at the start of this very season that this Evil Erik was up at Dragon's Gate attempting to do serious mischief against, amongst others, the elderly, the infirm and a pregnant woman! Such is the fellow's desire for blood and mayhem that he considers anything breathing as a legitimate target for his insatiable desire for mayhem that I am beginning to wonder if he isn't, in reality, a vampire....one of those awful Vivamort types that exists merely to feed off of the living! Worse still he even reduced a small 5 year old child to a flood of tears by scaring her so much when all she wanted to do was show him her dolly.....it's shocking Sister Ayrrios.....truly shocking and it has to be stopped before he's allowed to murder scores of innocent people in some demented slaughterfest within the City.
He claims to have produced a copy of a letter that I wrote to some woman in Boldhome recently, well I'm firstly not admitting I did write that letter BUT, even if I had, how on earth can that be construed as promoting disharmony. A simple tiff between a man and a woman, I mean a woman and a woman even, where passions run high and things may often be said in the heat of the moment is hardly grounds for any kind of Cult enquiry now, is it! Plus, even if I had written this letter which, remember I didn't admit to doing, even if I had you can see that a woman who scorns a decent, hardworking, efficient, caring, loving Chalana Arroy Initiate is not someone we ought to be caring to much about because such a woman would also be sticking two fingers up at our beloved cult and we wouldn't be keen to be seen agreeing with that! No, Sister Ayrrios, I can already sense that you are with me on this one and what we would surely do would be to completely overlook the entire matter and consider it a personal issue between two people, nothing really to do with the cult and even if we were really pressed upon the matter we'd take the side of the person who wrote it, remember I didn't say it was me....that was Evil Erik who said that....the pyscho bloke......, and not the woman who had rejected a really nice person.
Soooooo.....what I suggest is the following -
1. You ignore his stupid letter and hurl it into the nearest fire.
2. You certainly don't take any actions against me, your most loyal and efficient Initiate.
3. You use whatever influence you have to alert the Cult of Orlanth to have this Evil Erik cast out of their Cult, but not before they charge him with a serious offence. (I'll let you pick one that comes with a severe penalty attached).
4. You authorise a payment of 100 or 200 lunars to me to help me prepare a legal case against this Evil Erik for, in effect, slandering me and our cult.
Best wishes and may the Mother bless you,
Broaranna Hofarsdaughter
Initiate of Chalana Arroy (the best one we have!)
Regimental Healer of the Twin Spears Regt
An all round nice lady and person of peace & harmony
Greetings to you, my worshipful High Priestess
I sincerely apologise - unlike certain others (actual a certain other) - for intruding upon your most valuable time but I really felt I had no choice since I hear word that Boldhome's resident psychotic lunatic, i.e. the man of a hundred voices in his head, Evil Erik Starkraving (alias Erik Stargazer) has written to you claiming a whole load of utter tosh and suggesting that I be charged with causing disharmony! Me....Broaranna Hofarsdaughter, your most inspiring and promising Initiate.
As I suspect you've already recognised his letter is a woefully transparent attempt to bring discredit to me and, by seeking to do so therefore, a direct slur upon our blessed Goddess herself. This is from someone who purports to be a member of an associated Lightbringer cult and poor old Orlanth must be screaming out for your opposite number in his cult to have the rest of the Orlanthi drive this Chaotic madman from their ranks with all due haste.
The irony here is that this Evil Erik frequently seeks to denounce me, and my family members, as agents of Chaos WHEN it is none of than he, himself, who is the true Chaotic one and I can never understand why he has been allowed to remain at large for as long as he has?? I can only deduce that whatever chaotic deity / demon it is that he serves has granted him one of those chaos features that hides his true allegiance / loyalty.
Did you know, for example, that is was only at the start of this very season that this Evil Erik was up at Dragon's Gate attempting to do serious mischief against, amongst others, the elderly, the infirm and a pregnant woman! Such is the fellow's desire for blood and mayhem that he considers anything breathing as a legitimate target for his insatiable desire for mayhem that I am beginning to wonder if he isn't, in reality, a vampire....one of those awful Vivamort types that exists merely to feed off of the living! Worse still he even reduced a small 5 year old child to a flood of tears by scaring her so much when all she wanted to do was show him her dolly.....it's shocking Sister Ayrrios.....truly shocking and it has to be stopped before he's allowed to murder scores of innocent people in some demented slaughterfest within the City.
He claims to have produced a copy of a letter that I wrote to some woman in Boldhome recently, well I'm firstly not admitting I did write that letter BUT, even if I had, how on earth can that be construed as promoting disharmony. A simple tiff between a man and a woman, I mean a woman and a woman even, where passions run high and things may often be said in the heat of the moment is hardly grounds for any kind of Cult enquiry now, is it! Plus, even if I had written this letter which, remember I didn't admit to doing, even if I had you can see that a woman who scorns a decent, hardworking, efficient, caring, loving Chalana Arroy Initiate is not someone we ought to be caring to much about because such a woman would also be sticking two fingers up at our beloved cult and we wouldn't be keen to be seen agreeing with that! No, Sister Ayrrios, I can already sense that you are with me on this one and what we would surely do would be to completely overlook the entire matter and consider it a personal issue between two people, nothing really to do with the cult and even if we were really pressed upon the matter we'd take the side of the person who wrote it, remember I didn't say it was me....that was Evil Erik who said that....the pyscho bloke......, and not the woman who had rejected a really nice person.
Soooooo.....what I suggest is the following -
1. You ignore his stupid letter and hurl it into the nearest fire.
2. You certainly don't take any actions against me, your most loyal and efficient Initiate.
3. You use whatever influence you have to alert the Cult of Orlanth to have this Evil Erik cast out of their Cult, but not before they charge him with a serious offence. (I'll let you pick one that comes with a severe penalty attached).
4. You authorise a payment of 100 or 200 lunars to me to help me prepare a legal case against this Evil Erik for, in effect, slandering me and our cult.
Best wishes and may the Mother bless you,
Broaranna Hofarsdaughter
Initiate of Chalana Arroy (the best one we have!)
Regimental Healer of the Twin Spears Regt
An all round nice lady and person of peace & harmony